Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

In the United States, Valentine’s Day has recently passed. Valentine’s day is an American national holiday that has a variety of associations. One very common association with Valentine’s day is candy! On this day, it is considered a gift and is often given to loved ones or friends to express love. The candy association is made in response to a practiced custom.

Culture is built, established and sustained through knowledge, language, beliefs, convictions, values, morals, customs, rituals, habits, talents of people, art, music, and more. Culture is very complex and here is my attempt to make some distinctions to its layers. If we recognize the parts of a culture and consider how they came to be, we become equipped to make intentional choices regarding our role.

Cultures exist as they do because of:

(1)           The teaching and accumulation of knowledge.

(2)           The sustainability of a common language.

(3)           The application and expression of beliefs, convictions, and values.

(4)           The acceptance and upholding of morals.

(5)           The repeated practice of customs, rituals, and habits.

(6)           The interests that form preferred styles of expression.

(7)           The talents carried into the earth from one generation to the next through genetic inheritance and divinely created DNA.

(8)           The instinct that attracts people to their craft.

(9)           The predisposition that draws people to their niche.

Some scholars refer to customs as one aspect within the makeup of culture, or one representation of a culture. The dictionary defines custom as a “traditional and widely accepted way of behaving or doing something that is specific to a particular society, place, or time”. It is the ritualistic practice of a custom that causes it to be such a sustaining agent for a culture. So if the practiced customs change does the culture change?

As of today, in thought and conviction, I stand here: getting a new mind is how we transform-we then formulate new habits, practice new customs, and change a culture. Whether we see a culture as good or bad we don’t have to be victims or products of that culture, if we don’t want to be. We have permission to be influencers and let our inner transformation change the cultures we engage. The Word of God gives us instruction to not copy the world. How liberating that the One who made us invites us to be powerful and create change! Now, copying does prove to be easier than changing or leading change so first set your soul up for the challenge. God says we are permitted to become new, even when people within cultures all around us resist the change that our newness may require of them.

I am a health coach who champions people to live wholly healthy in spirit, soul, and body. My main coaching focuses are: (1) helping people see themselves as lovable, (2) helping people see their toxic thinking, nutrition, and lifestyle habits, and (3) helping people see themselves practicing health in thinking, nutrition, and lifestyle. I have asked every client I’ve worked with if they think they need more knowledge or discipline related to nutrition. Every one of my clients said they need more discipline. In the information age, few of us lack the basic knowledge or the resources to obtain basic knowledge to support healthy habits. So what do we do with the timeless question, “how do we stop doing what we know we shouldn’t do?” The majority of people find themselves with a collection of habits, built from practicing familiar customs. In this case, the majority of their nutrition choices are based on preferences they’ve derived from generational influence and familial experience. I can’t change a client’s character to contain discipline, instead I can coach them in how to assess a culture for the sake of their health and reengage the culture in a new way.

This is a picture of what came home in my sons’ backpacks from a school valentine’s day exchange among classmates. My sons ages are 2 and 1. My 1-year-old can’t chew bread, let alone skittles. What they brought home, given to them from other families, was a kind gesture of generosity, a custom within a culture, but a choice that did not prioritize health.  From a parental viewpoint my heart feels empathy. There is pressure we all feel to conform to culture. Some determine this as good pressure when they perceive the culture is good; having the ability to produce good in us and in our lives by way of assimilation. Others determine a pressure is bad when they perceive the culture is bad. Either way, parents feel a lot of public pressure.

It is possible that parents within my children’s classrooms wanted to do differently (i.e. bring an alternative to candy for a Valentine’s day gift) but felt the pressure to continue the custom, despite their knowledge that large quantities of sugar is bad for children. It is also possible that parents within this group didn’t want to change a thing and gleefully anticipated the Valentine’s Day custom. And that is okay. I believe we can love, honor, and respect others while simultaneously refusing to participate in customs within a culture that conflict with our personal beliefs, convictions, and values. My caution to you is this, do not succumb to pressure by “having a little fun” and handing your two-year-old an AirHeads. Find fun, have fun but don’t allow fun to be destructive to the spirit, soul, or body of your children.

My invitation to all is this: continue or begin your journey of letting God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Allow yourself to know and learn God’s will for you and be free from copying the behavior and customs of this world.