Recently, my darling, powerful, affectionate, strong, relational, athletic, joyful first born son turned two!! It was a special day. I am so for celebrating and honoring people on the occasion of their birthday. I am not so much for taking on the plethora of details that planning a party, hosting a party, cooking for a party, making shopping trips for a party, cleaning for a party, communicating for a party, photographing a party, and being a mommy to two at that party requires. Yikes, I feel tired just typing that. But let's be real that's what it can become. For those mamas who enjoy that load-you go! That's simply, not best for me. I'm a less is more, undivided attention type gal, who wants to love on people one person at a time, enjoy my food with everyone, take unblurred photos, be still enough to absorb the sights, sounds, and smells, write some words down for my son, and give my whole, non-frantic self to the ones I love.

So, that said, last year we had a "first birthday" party for our beloved. It was full on. Do I regret it? No. Was it memorable? Yes. Was it most enjoyable? Not for me, or him I suppose...It became what it did because each of his grandparents traveled to him for his birthday. [Really significant.] Their generosity and service was the party's air beneath its wings. We were also touched to see the friends  who were present, willing and interested in loving our son and blessing his life. 

Okay, back to this year...two!! So sweet. So monumental. Our growth from one to two has been tremendous. Conquering fear, embracing love for his new brother, learning to walk, adding words to his vocab-by the day, exploring more and more good foods, and building relationships with peers and caretakers. We are so proud. It was about a month before this year's birthday when I asked myself how do I want to honor my son for his birthday? The idea of a party did cross my mind, but didn't echo in my heart. Eventually my heart delivered the idea, to give him: me, the entire day. Smile. This was refreshing, because what is normal for me is to search for pockets of solitude where I can attempt to rest and refuel. This may occur when the boys nap or when another adult has so kindly provided their care. On many days these refuel segments feel necessary to have success caring for my boys 10 hours/day. But, here, for this day, my focus was clear, I would give him me without reluctance or strategizing breaks. I blocked off my schedule from coaching. I set projects aside. I prayed, slept the night before, and ate properly-so basic needs were covered, and I intentionally planned celebration marks throughout the day until daddy arrived home. Oh I also sang him "happy birthday" at least ten times. I adore him, and his smile, and his enjoyment when I sing.

Halfway through the day I asked myself the question, how can I make the remainder of his day even more special for him? What deposits remain for me to make? The familiar idea of a birthday "treat" came to mind, as this way of celebrating has been demonstrated to me and around me, my entire life. But there was one problem, we had not introduced our son to any food where sugar is added or sugar is the main ingredient. He enjoys sweet sensations in fruit!

It's very common where we live for people to do something referred to as a "smash cake". I have no intention to offend or shame any parents who have done this or plan to in the future. If you haven't heard of this, a smash cake experience goes something like: toddler is presented a cake and someone either smashes their face into it to begin their sugar indulgence or people encourage the child to begin digging into the cake. Sometimes there are limits to how much the child is permitted to consume, sometimes there are not. My husband and I have been to several parties where this occurs and we observe people who have attached joyous, humorous, celebratory sentiment to this activity. They enjoy it, and that is their right.  

For us, we have a different way. We are developing a culture and traditions within our home not based on traditions of others but of our convictions, present knowledge and understanding, and our children's needs. Do we as mommy and daddy enjoy desserts? We do! Do we choose to consume "healthier" desserts? Definitely. Do we lead our infant and toddler to consume desserts? None that include added sugar. So you could say, we are redefining the concept of dessert in our home and for our children. We are developing a new perspective of celebratory food. And I'm so glad to serve our children in this way. 

Okay, back to the two-year old birthday. It's afternoon time and I'm internally scanning for the remaining piece that will be a lovely deposit for our son, a deposit separate from his gifts experience. And then it comes to me-"treat" him with one of his favorite meals. My baby enjoys brown rice and black beans, any day, anytime. Thank you Jesus. And mommy serves him this at home on a regular basis. But there is something extra appealing for him when he tastes brown rice and black beans from....Chipotle! Hah. So here's the grand idea: let's all load up the car and take him to Chipotle to get him one of his favorite meals. We did just that. Brown rice, black beans, sautéed veggies, guacamole, an orange, and a carton of 100% Apple Juice (water-diluted at home). A delicious meal strategically given to honor our son and his needs and his desires. *Side thought: May we not serve our children's desires while forsaking their needs.* We rejoiced as he sat in his booster chair and devoured (with his own spoon skills) some of his favorite whole foods. 

If you're curious how this choice felt for me as a mom? It felt significant. It felt ground-breaking. It felt counter-culture. It felt joyous. It felt appreciated. It felt powerful. And it felt healthy. 

All good internal checks. 

Being counter-culture is a choice, it's a step, it's a commitment. You can do it, if you'd like to. It takes bravery, grace, and innovation, but it is so possible, and quite fun. You can stay standing amidst the tide, but I will warn you: don't look for the familiar or common to reinforce you. They won't. But it is possible they will look to you, to lead them into new.